Dear Bob,Please bring back our beloved Camaro and Firebird. It's true, some of us didn't buy the last one, but that's because GM didn't listen to us-or either GM talked to the wrong customers. We really do want affordable performance, not more sport futility vehicles. By affordable, we mean under $25,000. Think payment, not mortgage. If we have to fork over more than 10 percent down and more than $400 a month, we'll be looking elsewhere.
Give us a V8 engine. The Camaro and Firebird are American icons with a rich V8 heritage, so don't cram it full of extra valves, camshafts, timing chains, turbos, blowers, intercoolers, AWD or extra stuff that runs up the cost. One cam and sixteen pushrods will do fine. That makes it easy for us to work on. Speaking of working on it, please don't stick the engine under the windshield. Obviously, it needs enough power-at the same price-to beat the Mustang by a sizeable margin.
When new technology is called for, add it sensibly. Some of us will want the stripped-down drag-pack or the road race ready 1LE, but others in our ranks want the creature comforts. That's a tall order, but it's also the manufacturing challenge of the day. Look no further than the new Nissan 350Z for your bogey. We want a choice of trim levels, performance levels and luxury levels.
A decent warranty wouldn't hurt. If Chrysler can give the turbocharged Neon SRT-4 (practically a grenade with the pin pulled!) a 100,000-mile, 7-year warranty, then so can you. (We'll remind you that GM rebadged the new Trailblazer for Isuzu and gave it double the Chevy's warranty.) On the current F-body, we barely burn the tips off the treads in the burnout box and the warranty's done.
Get involved with grassroots motorsports. You made a big deal with your public appearance at last year's SEMA show, but you didn't see many Camaros, did you? On the other hand, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a Mustang. That's because Ford supports its customers in a more effective way. We're there in the trenches of motorsports fighting the good fight, and we need to know you're in there with us. ("Chevy. We'll Be There." Does that ring a bell?) That means supporting and sponsoring non-professional racing series (i.e., stuff other than NASCAR and CART) and doing it with a body style that doesn't elicit laughter. (Cavaliers in Pro Stock? Who you kiddin'?)
Get F-bodies out to dealers in meaningful numbers-and try not to load virtually all of 'em with $5,000 in options. In the fourth-gen's last few years, a new Z28 on a dealer lot was about as common as a Ferrari. At one point last year there were only 12 Camaros-counting V6s-on hand between Detroit's six largest Chevy stores. How embarrassing. Advertising will help. TV ads make us feel okay to go ahead and buy one (novel, huh?), plus it makes us feel good about it afterward.
Sincerely,The readers and staff of GMHTPMake it rearwheel drive. Frontwheel drive is cool for some, but we're hardcore enthusiasts. Going 14s isn't gonna cut it, unless you're in the sport compact biz. (Besides, you don't want to play in the sport compact sandbox; import racers think GM's FWD cars are on crack. That's the perception at least.) Keep RWD, but ditch the 7.5-inch rear. Grab an 8.5-inch rear out of the truck parts bin, load it with 3.42 gears and call it a day. Retain the T-56 and 4L60E. Don't mess with IRS, it drives up the cost too much.
Stiffen it up. Don't make us feel sorry for buying a Camaro or Firebird while we're still paying off the note. Just because it's an entry-level performance car doesn't mean we're agreeing to live with rattles, bumps and squeaks. (If we wanted that, we'd buy a Mustang.) We're not asking for a Mercedes S-class, just basic solid transportation.
In order to buy it, we have to convince the wife or girlfriend. If the kids or friends can't fit in the back seat, many aren't going to bite. There's room there now, but it's hard to get in and out. We're willing to make some sacrifice (keep it two-door), just as long as we don't look like a bunch of clowns climbing out of a Simca.
We need to see out of it! That makes us feel more comfortable when we drive it-especially the first time. With the exception of Jim McIlvaine, we know of no person who can actually see the corners of the current car in order to park it. A higher, more upright seating position, a lower cowl, and a taller greenhouse would help. Think first-gen Camaro. When we can't see the ends of the car, it makes the car feel large and unwieldy.
Don't turn it into a minivan on steroids. Yeah, we said make it easy to get in, and to make it easier to see out of, but that's not a license to turn it into a school bus. A Camaro needs to be low and graceful, sleek and muscular, a reflection-not a caricature-of its heritage, so leave the guy who regurgitated the latest Impala out of the loop. (In fact, fire him.) And while we're on styling, give Firebird customers more distinction from Camaro. These guys are not second-class Camaro owners!
Get rid of that confounded hump. If we really want a hump, we'll drive a dromedary camel. For twenty years, the F-body's catalytic converter hump in the passenger footwell has been shouting at potential buyers, "Don't buy me, I was designed by a moron!" The hump is just lazy engineering-the kind of thing detractors point to when they want to make fun of GM.
Don't load this thing up with a lot of stuff we don't want and can't afford. (Remember $400 a month?) We can't fault GM on that count with the outgoing car, but we know you'll be tempted. Want examples? How 'bout On-Star, satellite digital radio, TCS, GPS, ASR, ABS, DRL, HUD, FBI, KGB, and anything starting with the prefix "magna." The letters we care most about are "H" and "P." Offer us air conditioning, electric windows, T-tops, the normal stuff. A factory-installed Hurst line-lock or drag radials would be cool, but leave off the 1.21 gigawatt flux capacitor.